The Economists & The Girlie: Idaho *Utah* Idaho In a Week, Spending a Few Last Days With Granma

On Tue the 20 we headed to Idaho and surprised everyone. I'm so glad we went and for the memories I made with my Granma the last few days of her mortal life. I was able to do things that I never thought I'd want to do like help her go to the bathroom. But it was the little things that I helped her do that made some of the most precious memories that I will treasure.

Emery loved pushing Grammy around the living room.

I spent a lot of time with Granma the few days I was there and I'm so glad I did. Karissa would watch Emery for me and I would sit by Granma's bed and watch her, or talk to her. Several times I would just sit and cry... ok the majority of the time. Granma has always said that she "only dies once" so we "can't cry, to have a party and go out to eat." Also when the subject of death has come up (when friends have died, when she's been sick in the hospital, etc) she's always said she's "too stubborn and He doesn't want me."

Granma was ready to go. She was prepared and knew it was time. Here are a few short stories from my interactions with her those few days.

-On Tuesday night I was sitting in her recliner next to her bed and I was crying. She was concerned and I told her that I was sad because I thought Heavenly Father wanted her back. I asked her if she could do something for me. She looked a bit concerned and said of course she would. I asked her if she would take care of the babies that were supposed to come to our house and send them to us when it was time for them to come. She immediately light up and said "I'd love to do that! I know you want one or two." I told her that we already had one, but we'd take as many as 8 total because that was our max. Her eyes got big and she said "Jeeze Louise and Mary Sue, and maybe Agnus too.... I didn't know you wanted that MANY!" We laughed and laughed and she said that she would.

-I was telling Granma how I didn't think it was fair because it seemed everyone who I love and get close to a lot dies in August (Uncle Glen aug. 2, Granpa aug 2-8 years later-, Uncle Gilbert is also aug, I forget the exact date). She agreed with me and said she didn't think it was fair and said she'd see what she could do about it. I told her I'd appreciate that.

-Tuesday night Granma was asleep and I was in the kitchen talking to my mom, but I would walk back every few minutes a few feet down the hall (visual: Granma was in Chad's room, and I wouldn't even go all the way to the bathroom). She'd say "Hello, were you coming to say hi?" So I'd walk to her room and talk to her for a few minutes. One time in particular I responded "Hello, yes I'm coming." I told her I loved her, and she told me that she loved me too. Then she said something and I said "You're crazy." She replied "Well I think you're crazy too, and I'm nuts so that makes two of us!" We started laughing together and my mom came down the hall and said "What are you two laughing about?" I looked at Granma and said "Should we tell her?" She replied, "Nope, she is too!"

-Granma forgot how to walk in the last few days of her life. To help her go to the bathroom I'd have her place her hands around my neck and then help her sit and then stand up. She'd suffle her feet in a circle the best she could to be able to sit on the toilet seat in her room. One time when I sat her down she started to close her eyes and go to sleep. I said to her "Granma... what are you doing?" She replied "Kara, what did you want me to do?" (I vividly see the face she made, concerned, big eyed, ready to do what I asked) I said "Well Granma, you told me you needed to pee." She then made faces, grabbed the toilet paper roll and looked through it like a spy glass, then grabbed her belly and started to squeeze it. Finally I heard a few drops and she got so excited and started clapping and dancing moving her shoulders up and down. She finished the process and I told her we needed to put her underwear back on, to which she replied "Why? I'm going to go chase the men in the street!" I busted up laughing and she laughed with me. I got her dressed and stood her up, as her arms were around my neck she started swaying back and forth with her hips and shrugging her shoulders dancing. She did so for about a minute, then said "Now that we've danced, can I please get back in bed?"

-As I sat with Granma another time and was crying as I knelt next to her bed she was so very concerned why I was so upset. She pulled my head in close and stroked my hair (her hand leaving my hand where it was most of the time I was there), and I told her I was sad because I loved her so much and I thought Heavenly Father wanted her back. She responded "You know, I think he does too, one of these days soon." She continued to comfort me and console me telling me that she loved me. She also said "Kara, we all have to die sometime, I'm not crying about it, it's ok."

-Granma went to bed at 4 on Wednesday night and got back up at about 8. In the papers from Hospice they talked about the signs of death and how people normally have one last burst of energy (they may eat for the first time in weeks even). I know that Wednesday was Granma's she came out into the living room and was playing peek-a-boo with Emery. I'm so glad I got some of it on video. I will always treasure it. They were so cute and having so much fun!

-Sister Eaton (who is 85 and would come sit with Granma), Granma's Visiting Teaching companion, came Thursday morning because she didn't get the message that she wasn't needed. It was a tender mercy that she came. I was able to talk to her for about 45 minutes about Granma and share sweet stories back and forth with her. I learned of Granma's love, devotion, and testimony of visiting teaching. How Granma was always concerned for the sisters that she visited and always wanted to get it done as soon as possible because she knew of the importance of the the calling to be a visiting teacher. She shared with me how she thought Granma lived so close to the Lord and her testimony was so strong.

Emmaline.

The girlie loved eating the potatoes raw.

Granma went to sleep on Wednesday night at about 9:30 and that was the last time she was really "awake." We stayed until Thursday morning and then headed back to Utah because it was too hard on me emotionally to be there physically. I left my parent's at about 11, and Granma was still asleep. I went into her room and did my best to wake her up. She opened her eyes and I told her I was leaving, that I needed to go home to Utah. I told her that I loved her and she responded that she loved me too. Those were the last words she spoke, and I'm so glad I got to hear them again.

Thursday night Julisa and her boyfriend Kyle came to stay with us. They were going to stay the weekend but plans changed because of Granma, which they understood.

Friday I was ok skype/facetime from about 10:30-6. I literally did nothing that entire time except sit on my bed, ate a tiny bit and finally folded some laundry. I just sat and watched her sleep. I told her that she could go at about 11, that it would be ok, and that I would be ok with it. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I know she needed to hear it.

At about 5:30 Granma was given a Priesthood blessing of release. In the blessing she was told that she had accomplished everything she was sent to this earth to do and it was time for her to go home. During the blessing Emmaline had been trying to get her. (Karissa and Emmaline had been "watching" Granma from 10-3 every day when she lived with my mom) What happened next I can only describe as beautiful. Granma hadn't responded to anything, you talking to her, you squeezing her hand, etc., they placed Emmaline next to her and she sat partially up, opened her eyes and smiled at everyone in the room. It was such a comfort and what we needed-well what I needed. They placed Emmaline next to her again several times to grab the camera and pictures.

I woke up Saturday morning to a text that said 7:18. Granma finished getting the rest she needed before she left this life to get to work in the next. We headed to Idaho at about 2 for the weekend/Granma's funeral.

There was an immediate family viewing on Sunday evening. It was hard, but my mom reminded me "Kara, she's not here. Remember this is just her body, she's here but she's not." I had the opportunity to stand with my mom next to her casket as she placed and tied her veil. I'm so thankful I got to share those moments with those two one last time with Granma's body.

Emery stayed with Holly Scarr so we could go to the family viewing. When we came back she was asleep, it had been a rough time for her.