Thoughts on Pregnancy

I have been terrible about keeping a journal since we got married. As I reach the end of this pregnancy it has become more important to me to write down my thoughts and feelings. 

I have been so grateful to have this little girl growing inside of me for the past 8 months. It has been a wonderful experience to take part in creation with Jared and Heavenly Father. I cannot believe how fast it has gone! It seems like just a few weeks ago we were stopping by Smiths on the way home from the temple to grab a pregnancy test. Then I remember waiting in the bathroom for what seemed like forever, because Savanna came down to invite us up for cake and ice cream, to come out and tell Jared the test was positive. Those moments seemed like forever. We thought that it would be positive, but to have the reassurance was unreal. Then I text a picture to my mom... shaking I waited for her response as Jared and I hugged and hugged, but she didn't text back. Finally I called her, and said "HELLO!!! I am waiting for your response!!!" She replied "I am sitting here laughing and crying while my husband looks at me like I am a crazy person!" 

The first time we got to hear her little heartbeat I was 11.5 weeks pregnant. We wanted to tell our family over Thanksgiving, so I wanted the reassurance again that we really were expecting. Being so early, they couldn't just find her heartbeat so we got to do an ultrasound and see her. Our tiny little cinnamon bear, she was real. There was a baby growing inside of me, so tiny and so fragile. We left the appointment so excited, but we didn't believe the next few months would ever pass.

When we told our families our excitement grew and it became more real. We ended up telling my dad earlier than planned because for some reason he paid attention to me not feeling well. He was SO shocked, but SO excited. As we told everyone, our favorite was just waiting for people to read our shirts and figure it out. The excitement of Jared's family when they realized that they weren't just having 2 babies born this summer but so close and the fact that our baby was coming before Jordan and Cahlin's (since they told before we did). We should have had a video camera with us because some of their reactions were priceless. 

We had other check-ups and got to hear her heartbeat, but January 6th came and we got to go in and have our 20 wk check up and see her again, as well as find out who she was. The ultrasound tech did all of the measurements first before telling us that it was a girl. Jared knew it-he had said girl from the very beginning, but I said boy, then a few weeks before Christmas I changed my mind and though she was going to be a girl. During the whole appointment she was moving and kicking like crazy and wouldn't hold still. We joked that it was because I had had a Krispy Kreme that morning for breakfast and apparently she liked it. As we got home from our appointment we told my mom and sister, but had called my dad on the way home. They were all so excited! We continued to tell the rest of the family that day, as we were moving in we decorated with pink streamers so that they would know as they helped us move in. 

Our scare came when I had my first gallbladder attack at 23 weeks. I started crying when the nurse told me to go to labor and delivery to be monitored. Jared assured me that everything would be okay and that Heavenly Father knew what was going on. I was so scared and worried-I am sure Jared was too but he was so good at comforting me. As I received a blessing given by Jared and Jordan I knew everything would okay. The thoughts that kept going through my head made me so worried, but I had to remind myself that Heavenly Father has a plan and knows what He is doing.

The weeks have passed quickly and I have forgotten many times about this little girl growing inside of me because I have been blessed with an easy pregnancy. But then she moves around and I am reminded of the blessing she is already in our lives. We pray for her daily, for her health and strength that she will arrive safely and healthy. We thank our Heavenly Father for the blessing and miracle that we know she is, and for the fact that she will be OURS on loan. What an immense blessing and calling that is. What a responsibility we have to teach her the truth and raise her to have a testimony of her own.  We are anxiously awaiting her arrival with only a few weeks left, but know that she will come when she needs to and when she will be ready. Until then, we will enjoy our days together, our time spent watching my belly move, or laughing when she is going crazy having a dance party, or beating up Jared as he puts his hand on her on my belly, the laughter Jared we share when he checks the depth of my belly button and finds it is continuing to get shallower by the day. Our lives are about to change, but we are excited and ready.

Enjoy the Journey.